On monday I am leaving for camp. I am leaving everyone I know and spend 11 weeks with total strangers. I am excited,because I know I am going to meet some interesting people, make new experiences and finally enter the US. But first I have to say those threaded goodbyes. Today I cleaned the appartment and slowly started to pack my stuff because my cousin is getting married tomorrow and I am spending the night at my parents' house. During packing I cried on and off. Most of all I am going to miss my man, Hendrik. I feel irresponsible for leaving hime alone for so long. I imagine him sitting at the dinner table alone... and I cry. I imagine him reaching over in bed ....and I cry. I imagine him watching TV alone...and cry again. I feell ike I am dropping off my child on the first day of kindergarten (German word by the way which means garden of children and is the term for pre- school in Germany). I know he can live by himself, but I don't want to let him go. I want to be there for him. I need him, because I am as honest with him as one can be. I tell him everything. Like every little thing on my mind. But we will get through it. I have wanted to do this for so long and he is going to be busy with his thesis. And fall is going to be
But I am also going to miss the appartment. It is small, some things are broken and there are stains on the floor. But it is the first place that is my own. And I love it. So I cried over the fact that I am going to miss the rest of the summer, many days at my pool. Finally I went to the bathroom and almost cried over the fact that this would be the last time that I would use the bathroom until September. Hendrik told me I was ridiculous so he took me to the station and I went home. Tomorrow we are going to meet at the wedding and on sunday it is the last final goodbye.
