Island hopping in Croatia

Last week I went on a cruise from one island to another in Croatia with a friend and a bunch of crazy Australians. Can I please move to Australia? Australians are officially my favorite people, so relaxed and welcoming.  Needless to say I had an awesome week. Sun, a boat and the sea are definitely among my favorite things in the world. So please bear with me as I bombard you with some awesome pics!

                                         I had this whole thing figured out minutes after we went on board!

                                                               First stop Hvar!

                                                            First morning

                                                                     Paradies

In the afternoon we usually stopped somewhere to look at stuff

Only to end up like this (lazy river)

                                                               The harbors were full of ships

                                                                  sunset

                                                                     Dubrovnik

                                                                        Yours truly

                 The city wall in Dubrovnik. I felt like I was climbing the Chinese wall in 35 degree weather

                                                  My German- English- American friend

                                                We visited Marco Polo's hometown

 My friend and I left the boat for an afternoon on the beach and got lost. But the view was nice and you can always take pictures.

                                                   Flowers

                                                        Pirate party. I was their opponent

 Can you see the tiny fort on the mountain??? I climbed up there. Lost at least 4 kilos of water.

                                                          The view was nice, as always

                                                                  Up there!

Counting your blessings

Tomorrow is my first real day as a grown up. I will start the second phase of my teacher eduaction tomorrow.  During the next 21 months I will have to write countless lesson plans and be observed and critcized as a teacher countless times. It will be challenging. But after going through some of the stuff I did go through the last 6 months, I can assure you nothing can shock me anymore. Some people dread those 21 months that finally make you a teacher. I am not scared one bit, because I know that it is going to be good. I look fowrard to being needed. Being a student means you are a number, my professors never cared about whether I showed up or not. I will have to get up early  and will have to get dressed for work every single day. That sounds like I have never worked, which is not true since I have been a subsitute teacher for quite some time now. But it will be different.I will also meet new people and most of all I will finally do my job. I will teach kids which I am convinced is one of the talent's God gave me. The great thing about hard times is that it brings you closer to God which is incredibly calming. Especially in the past month I have had days where I could not stop crying, where I almost forgot I was crying while I was crying. But exactly then I found myself crying out to God for help and somehow I felt comforted. Looking back at my life, which I have done, countless times, I have realized that I was placed in a blessed spot in life. It is not a spot where the sun always shines, but it is a good spot. I was given the most caring and loving parents I could have been given. Parents who went to hell and back for so many times. I was given a brother who honestly cares about my well-being and is always, always there for me and I am proud to call my best friend. I was also given some friends I sometimes considered boring and neglected, but who are still and always will be there for me. I may not have 20 friends, but I have about 10 who I can trust. I got cancer at 13 and my teenage years basicly did not happen apart from body changes, but I did not die from this cancer and I my body, although damaged and weakened, is still quite able to run or swim for an extended period of time. I was also given a mind that helped me fulfill my dream of becoming a teacher. At 18 God placed a person in my life that forever changed the way I see things and who to this day, despite all the struggles we have been through, is the only person in the entire world I can admit anything to. I also had the freedom to go to the US for 3 life changing months where I met people who did not ask where I came from and who I was, but allowed me to discover myself anew and made me forget Anne for a while and instead become a camp counselor and life guard called Sporty, a person I deeply admire and miss.
Going into this new phase of life tomorrow, I know that there is no easy time awaiting me and I should probably get some buckets to collect all the tears I am going to cry as well as few  a lot of bottles of wine to calm my nerves, but I know that life is good, God's plan for me is a good one and I am going to be ok no matter what happens next!!!

London camp reunion

Ever since coming back from camp, the European staff has been planning a reunion. After a lot of back and forth, we finally scheduled it for the weekend of the 17-19 January. I loved it  so much. It was so good to see all these people again with who I had been so close for 3 months. The first evening we just talked and laughed. My heart felt so contend. It felt like a family reunion.  The next day we saw all the London sights in one day. We walked so much and my feet hurt for days. In the evening we had originally planned to go out, but we fell asleep watching Narnia. That is telling. Anyways! Here are some pictures of our awesome weekend!

Fish&chips- a must in Britain

Buckingham palace!

                                                             A huge m&m store!

                                                                  Tower bridge

                                                                       London Eye

                                                                      Big Ben

                                   We witnessed the sweetest proposal in the middle of London.

                                                                       selfie ;)

                                              They have a Harry Potter shop at track 9 3/4  at King's cross.

          The collest thing is that they have a trolley in the wall and you can take pictures. Loved it!

London Dungeon

Sunset in London

What happened since I came back from the USA?

So, how do I start?

Hi, I am still alive ;)

I never intended to take a break from blogging. It somehow happened. My time in the US has been life changing. I grew very independent because I was away from everybody I knew for 3 months. When I was on this plane from Germany to Minneapolis all I could think for 8 hours was : "What am I doing? What was I thinking? What am I doing to my boyfriend?" I gained everything. I gained friends I will be in contact´with forever. Incredible people who I still mis every single day almost 5 months after I left. I gained memories I think about a lot and I gained a pride and confidence in myself that I can do anything. When I came back, I did not know where to start again.
I came back on Hendrik's birthday, but he could not pick me up from the airport. While I had been away he had started a job where he was basicly exploited for the duration of his contract. Until the end of January he got up at 5 every day to go to work and returned at about 6:30. Totally exhausted and frustrated. The worst part was that he had to go to job fairs almost every weekend. After being apart for more than 3 months, we almost did not have any time together until recently. It was tough. I missed him, because in the few hours I saw him he was tired. I spent a lot of hours alone. There were weeks where I spent more nights alone than with him. We were both hurting. A lot. He did this all to write his thesis. In the end even that did not work out. I don`t understand why this happened. Sorry I sound so depressed.
Jobwise I had to make some decisions to make as well. I decided not to start my last two years of teacher training at school, but instead to postpone it half a year and not worry about grades for a while since for the last two years of the teacher training you do teach your own classes, but are evaluated constantly. Instead I decided to do a certificate to teach bilingual classes (biology in English in my case) at another university.  The first week I felt like a complete loser going back to school. I had graduated in May and vowed never to come back, but here I was. In the end it turned out well. I had fun, but it was weird. All my friends from uni started teaching so I felt kind of left out. But now I hope to start teaching in May and since you cannot apply directly to the schools, but you apply to the state you live in, I am quite nervous about the letter I will be getting in March. They could send me anywhere and I am scared since I want to stay where I am. I want to stay with Hendrik and near my friends and family, but I will have to accept it.
Apart from uni, I also did some substitute teaching and continued tutoring. Substituting was fun. I have taught before during my placements, but this was something totally different since you don't have a lesson plan, but do whatever the teacher you are replacing wants you to do. You never know what to expect and sometimes the kids test their boundaries since you are "only" the substitute and cannot give any grades. But I still love it which is a good sign for my future.
Since I had a litlle more free time (alone time, because of Hendrik's job) I turned into a real gym addict which sounds good at first, but it led me to slowly lose quite bit of weight when I did not have to lose any to begin with. If you read and remember one of my previous posts, I have a problem with my appetite and maintaining my weight. I don't really feel hunger due to the chemo I received ten years ago and I can easily go a day without eating if I am busy and don't tell myself to eat. I usually manage to eat quite regularly, but with Hendrik being away so much and me going to the gym, I lost the weight. I don't look anorexic or anything, but I will have to watch out from now on.
All right, rant is over. Despite all of this, I am still very happy right now. I just wanted to write down all the issues I have had to face during the last months. I feel like I have grown through it all. I really like the person I am now. I simply feel comfortabl with myself. The last half a year, has allowe me to look back and see what I have achieved and I fell quite proud and optimistic about the future.