Thankful Thursday on a Sunday

Although it is not thursday, I decided to write a Thankful Thursday post. You can be thankful on a sunday, can't you?

Somehow I feel especially thankful for my dad today. He always wants to talk to me, asks about my problems and takes time to help me whenever I have a problem with my studies (biology). He's very patient.
When I was little he read millions of books to me. He was the one who taught me how to ride a bike, write my name or swim. I can't remember one instance where he did not have the time to listen to me.
When I grew older I sometimes was annoyed by his constant want to talk to me. When you are a teenager there are a lot of things that are more cool than your old daddy. I rejected him a lot of times. But he never gave up. He still knocks on my door and asks me about my day. Now that I moved out he always picks me up from the station. He always buys me chocolate and sometimes flowers. He sure knows how to treat a woman:) Recently, I even found out how me he knows about love. He has a lot of advice on how to solve problems in a relationship.
God couldn't have gifted me with a better dad.

I don't have a nice pic of my dad on my computer :(

Look what I got :)

Friday Five- Would you rather

1. Would you rather find True Love or $10,000.

True Love! Money does not make you happy, it just makes certain things easier. To be loved and to love makes you happy :)

2. Would you rather be able to Read Minds or Fly?

If I could fly, I could go to all the cool places in the world. I could just escape to a Caribean island to get some sun in the winter.

3. Would you rather Always say everything on your mind or Never speak again?

I wear my heart on my tongue. My friend says it's embarassing. Since I honestly don't have too many mean or embarrassing thoughts I would prefer to always talk instead of never speaking again.

4. Would you rather live someplace where it’s Winter every single day of your life or Summer every single day of your life?

Summer, summer, summer. Summer makes everything so much easier. I even wrote a blog about all the things I love about summer back in May (?)

5. 5. Would you rather Live a long life without ever falling in love or Live a short life but experience a passionate romance?

I cannot live without love....and I love my life. I cannot make a decision against life, but I can't imagine living without love.

Enjoy your weekend!

Quick update

Wow, time is passing quickly. My school/college started almost 2 weeks ago and for the first time in 7 semester I LIKE it. Maybe that's because I don't have too much to do (=don't feel overwhelmed)and do really like the professors (even the Biology ones).
Additionally, I started working. I'm not really sure I like it, because you have to stand for a very long time and work VERY fast. I do sort magazines into piles for different shops. After work I have excruciating backpain and I'm not really sure it's worth the money (although the money is good 10 Euros/ hour).
I finally live in the appartment again with Hendrik. We've had some rough days and some great days. It all changes so quickly. It's hard because I finally want to know how this ends. Will we stay together forever...or is there somebody else out there? Prayers are still needed and wanted.

How is your fall? Any fun activities? We don't really have pumpkin patches in Germany nor do we celebrate Halloween (except for some little kids).

What I have never done

I'm 23 and I never have...

1. vacationed alone
2. been to the USA or Australia, although it's been my dream since I was 13.
3. went skydiving which is another dream
4. touched a dolphin
5. walked a red carpet
6. been drunk to the point where I could not remember what I did
7. gotten into a physical fight
8. won any prize from a journal or the lottery :)
9. eaten sushi
10. swam in a river
11. been an actor in a movie
12. slept past noon
13. met an Aborignie
14. ran a marathon (another dream)
15. watched a horror movie alone (much too scary)

Prayer for a Friend (Casting Crown)

I LOVE this song by Casting Crown. It's exactly how I feel about my brother. I would do ANYTHING for him. I love him so much. He had to face several surgeries during the last years. He's incredibly brave. This left him quite depressed. I don't know how to help him. God is the only one who can! Pray for him if you have got the time.

"Prayer For A Friend"

Lord, I lift my friend to You, I've done all that I know to do
I lift my friend to You
Complicated circumstances have clouded his view
Lord, I lift my friend up to You

I fear that I won't have the words that he needs to hear
I pray for Your wisdom, oh God, and a heart that's sincere
Lord, I lift my friend up to You

Lord, I lift my friend to You
My best friend in the world, I know he means much more to You
I want so much to help him, but this is something he has to do
And Lord, I lift my friend up to You

'cause there's a way that seems so right to him
But You know where that leads
He's becoming a puppet of the world, too blind to see the strings
Lord, I lift my friend up to You
My friend up to You

Lord, I lift my friend to You, I've done all that I know to do
I lift my friend to You

Soccer game

Yesterday I went to a "Bundesliga" (German soccer league) game. Hendrik's uncle Hajo gets tickets for the boxes from his company where you can eat and drink A LOT (for free (well the company pays for theses special tickets, but free for me)). So we always like to take advantage of that:).
It would have been the perfect day, but I had asked my brother to come with us and he did not want to. I was very sad about this, because I always search for opportunities to do something with my brother and I could not understand why he didn't want to come.
Anyway, I went to Henny's mom's house where Hajo picked us up and we drove north to Gelsenkirchen where the soccer club "Schalke" is located. Hajo really takes advantage of the fact that there is (almost) no speed limit on Germna highways. He drove soooo fast(usually about 180km/h). We had five tickets so besides us three there were two more fraternity brothers coming with us. This meant many weird stories about things I won't mention in this blog :) Men!!!
When we arrived, there was still some time left until the gates opened so we walked around in the park which surrounds the soccer stadium.





Then we went inside, had a big fat lunch/dinner. And had a look at the empty stadium. 62.000 people fit in there!



The two of us:)



The players



Penalty for Schalke



In the end Schalke lost 1:2. But I did not care:) We just had a fun, nice day.

My relationship with God

so this blog is going to be quite personal....

During the last weeks/ months I have pondered a lot on my relationship with God. I have always called myself a Christian. My parents are Christians and so they wanted to raise their children as Christians. I was baptized when I was a few months old and went to sunday school pretty much my entire childhood. I heard all the stories, prayed every night my entire life, first with my parents, then alone. I usually treated people with love and tried to help whenever I could. But does this make me a Christian? Probably not!

When I went to Middle school other things were more important. For example sleeping in late on Sunday mornings. But there was more to it. The church my family belongs to is rather old fashioned. They have sunday school for children, but nothing that follws. No youth groups, no nothing. I would not have had a problem to go to the adult church...if it was a place more teenagers went to. If you go to church on a sunday morning you can see about ten sleepy teenagers who are there because they are forced to go since they want to celebrate their confirmation soon. I did the same. Went to church every sunday for almost two years and never went back since then except for Christmas and Easter. I have always been kind of searching. But never found something I really liked. When I met Henny he talked a lot about Jesus which is one of the reasons I fell in love with him. When he took me to his church I did not know the songs they sang and they did not have the lyrics. I got frustrated because I felt so stupid. I was ashamed of myself: "You call yourself a Christian and don't even know the stupid lyrics?" Eventually, I stopped going.

I always told myself I would find a church once I moved out. Last November this happened. Yet, by new years eve nothing had happened. I vowed to God that 2011 would be different. I vowed to buy myself a nice bible (not one of the old fashioned ones where you don't understand half of what you read) and find a church. And I kept my promise! I have been reading in my bible every evening and started going to church kind of regularly. Thanks to one of my old friends I found a group called "project 20 plus" which meets every second sunday. I have been enjoying these meetings very much. I still don't know all the lyrics and don't find a certain quote in the bible immediately, but I don't feel ashamed of myself because the other people don't make me feel ashamed. Thus, 2011 has been a good year in this area at least. My conversations with God have become longer and longer and I see people living their faith now which shows me how to do what I've always wanted: I praise God openly and love every minute of it. I once started a journey as a child in sunday school,got off track, but now I'm back. Stronger than before!

New Age (the song)

There's a song that has been following me through the last weeks. It's New Age by Marlon Roudette. It represents exactly how I have felt/feel. Here are the lyrics:

If love was a word, I don’t understand.
The simplest sound, with four letters.
Whatever it was, I’m over it now.
With every day, it gets better, it gets better.

Are you loving the pain, loving the pain?
And with every day, every day
I try to move on.
Whatever it was,
Whatever it was,
There’s nothing now.
You changed.
New Age.

I’m walking away, from everything I had.
I need a room with new colors.
And there was a time,
When I didn’t mind, living the life of others.


Are you loving the pain, loving the pain?
And with every day, every day
I try to move on.
Whatever it was,
Whatever it was,
There’s nothing now.
You changed.
New Age.

So much fire that it burned my wings.
Her heat was amazing.
Now I’m dreaming of the simple things.
Old ways, erased.

If love was a word,
I don’t understand.
The simplest sound,
With four letters.

Are you loving the pain, loving the pain?
And with every day, every day
I try to move on.
Whatever it was,
Whatever it was,
There’s nothing now.
You changed.
New Age.

My grammy :)

Since the biology exam last friday I have been lazy, very lazy... but I think I deserve it. I did not have a real break in about a year. Plus, I feel that it helps. I smile a lot more often (the last seven weeks were very hard). Today, when I went running I felt sooo happy. I finally had the time to run as long as I wanted..no time pressure..no nothing. Thanks God!
In the afternoon I made applesauce with my almost 90 year old grandma. I love her! At first she did not want to help, but then she got into it and I think she really enjoyed it:)




(I don't like pictures of me, especially from the side)

On Sunday I'll move back in with Henny. It's been very long seven weeks. We met a couple of times in the last week and had a good time. What I've learned is that we have to make a better effort at keeping dating each other. We talked to much about the household and never really had some time exclusively for us. I'm totally positive about all this. My parents (I have the feeling) are not. Probably they are just scared that I might get hurt again.But I finally have to start looking after myself. It's MY relationship, not their's. I cannot aim at making everybody happy when I'm unhappy with what thes want.
Prayers wanted!
Have you experienced similar situations? Parents not totally supporting? Moving back together after a break? Please tell me!

Grandparents day

Since I finally am not forced to study anymore I decided to do some other fun things. Yesterday morning I went to my grandpa's house and picked some apples. I'm thinking about making some apple sauce since we seem to have tons of apples this year.

Afterwards I went home and had some pizza for lunch. Usually I go swimming on Saturdays. When we were kids we all went to the swimming club on Saturdays, now I mostly go alone. However, I was super tired yesterday and decided not to go. But then my mom asked if I could take my grandma on a walk and I agreed. She is turning 90 in December and lives in a retirement home in the town where my parents live and I grew up in. Originally, she is from the south so it was hard for her to move here after living in the south for her entire life. But she has adjusted well. It was nice to go on a walk with her yesterday, she is so sweet and tells interesting stories. Yesterday she told me that her honeymoon was only 3 days long and they only went an hour away from home. And she lost her first love in the war. These are things I cannot imagine... how much pain she has suffered through. I am so glad and thankful that I get to live in a stable and peaceful country now where I am free to say and do whatever I want.

Exam day

I just came home from my exam. All I can say is that one part went really well, the other didn't... so we'll have to wait, but I'm optimistic :) I'll continue having conversations with God about it.
Now that I'm done with all the studying, I'm super tired but I know I won't be able to sleep if I go to bed now. I don't nap. I usually sleep quite a lot at night and that's it.
My family really cares for me which I love (of course). Last night they all told me to stay calm and now my brother is making my favorite food: noodle caserole (if that's the right translation). My bf's family also wrote me messages :) Made me really happy and I feel more love than I did in quite a while.

Later I'll go to the hairdresser which is really urgent since my hair is a mess and I haven't been at the hairdresser since.... May (???).
I also plan to go shopping the weekend and maybe I'll go to southern Germany for a few days next week. Yeah!
The bad thing is that the nice weather of the last two weeks is gone and fall definitely arrived with all the nice things he has to offer: wind, rain, clouds and cold temperature (I'm alreday done with that :) )

Have a nice weekend! What are your plans????

Ikea and other stuff

Yesterday I went to ikea with Hendrik. I love Hendrik ..... and ikea. When I buy I house I wnat to spend days there buying furniture. Henny was so patient with me. Love him for that. They have so many beautiful pieces, but since our appartment has everything it needs I could not really buy anything. Just some candles so I did not have to walk out empty handed. BUT I almost bought this rocking chair in blue. I've been wantning to buy it for almost a year. After I said good bye to all the beautiful stuff we bought the obligatory hot dogs and went to a mall. Again Henny was very patient.
I intended to buy a camera from my birthday money. Somehow I never managed to. But I PROMISE I'll search for one next week. Can your recommend one? I'm not very good in taking photos, so it does not need to be a fancy one.

Now, I really need to starty studying biology. The exam is on friday. AAAAAHHH! Keep your fingers crossed.

3rd of October

Hey everyone,

today is our national holiday. Yeah! Who wants to celebrate????.... Nobody...???? Well, yes. Since we are SOOOOO "proud" of our country we have a party. No, honestly... Germans do not celebrate this day. Its just a day off from work, some time for yourself. My brother even asked why the postman did not come since he is waiting for yet another package...I'm not kidding. We don't give a damn. But how can we be proud if everybody we meet who is not German tells us we are Nazis? 66 years after the war ended!!! I believe it's sad since we can be proud since we accomplished A LOT in the past decades. So, maybe the next time you meet a crazy German you say something nice?!