day 7- zodiac sign
My zodiac sign is the lion.
Wikipedia says people under this signs are leaders (not me), proud (no), warm-hearted, loyal, and wish to excel in all they do. I would consider myself warm- hearted since I like people and never would do anything to hurt them. I'm certainly loyal and my wish to excel sometimes kills me.
"Leo personalities are known to love those they are close with and they wish to protect and defend all those that need it." Oh yes. I would do anything for the people I love. "They are people that enjoy flattery and attention from others but when not loved or when they are not reciprocated they become depressed, self-pitying and self-destructive" Everbody enjoys attention, at least to a certain extent. But I do not like to be the center of attention. Sometimes I miss being loved and become depressed, yes.
"Individuals in this sign need love and recognition from others in order to fully evolve. They have a tendency to indulge themselves or their loved ones in luxury, as they often set high value on aesthetic beauty." Again don't we all do better when we have the support and love of others? Yet, I certainly don't indulge myself or others in luxury. I don't care too much about aesthetc beauties. I like nice clothes, make- up and other nice things, but nothing too fancy.
"Many strive for public recognition in their career, and may find themselves in the limelight. When offering help to others Leos can be preoccupied with an idealistic vision, and find themselves doing more harm than good." No, like I said I don't seek to be in the center of attention and I love to help others. Nobody complained that I did more harm than helped so far :)
Monday, 30 January 2012
30 day challenge: 6
Day 6- list 30 interesting facts about yourself
Hope I can find 30....
1. I only moved once when I was 6 months old, then grew up in the same time and then moved to the city Im studying now when I was 22.
2. Our family has had budgies since I was 8. We had about 8 since then. I lost count. The current ones are Jimmy and Janie (almost all have J names)
3. my favorite food is noodle caserole.
4. My favorite color is blue
5. I spent 4 months in South Africa and LOVED it.
6. My best friend and I have been best friends since grade 1 and now study together
7. I had leukemia when I was 13/14.
8. I only kissed 3 1/2 guys (one does not really count)
9. I would like to have a tatoo with my future kids' names one day
10. I always thoght abou getting my bellybutton pierced but never did
11. My little bother and me are 2 years 6 months and 2 weeks apart
12. I always wanted a cat
13. I always fall asleep on my belly, then shift to my side later
14. I originally wanted to become a Spanish and English teacher, but then the universities raised the level of proficiency you have to have in Spanish :(
15. I'm five feet 9 inches tall (always wanted to find out how tall I am in feet)
16. I knew Lance Armstrongs two books by heart in my teens and still can recite some of parts of them
17. my right foot is smaller than my left and my right hands smaller than the left
18. I can play the piano. Had lessons from age 8 to 18.
19. I always broke my bones when I was a kid because I was very active.
20. I don't accept people I only met a few times on facebook. They are not friends.
21. Hendrik and me are both the same age for about a month every year
22. My teacher offered to let me skip first grade but my parents prefered to not let me skip.
23. I drank some wine when I was about 7 or 8 and my parents were not loooking. I spit it out again immeadiately.
24. I learned to drive when I was 16 and drove around sometimes (very rarely). without a licence. My teacher was very surprised when I started driving school with 17. (In Germany you can drive with a guardian in the car when you are 17 and alone when you are 18).
25. I started to read mostly English books in grade 11
26. I never dyed my hair
27. I LOVE LOVE LOVE hot chocolate!
28. I wanted to marry a boy called Johannes in kindergarten and in elementary school I wanted to marry a boy called Hendrik. This current Hendrik's second name is Johannes :)
29. I watched "Jon and Kate plus 8" on youtube and do the same for "19 kids& counting
30. Its Hendrik's and my 5th anniversary today! Yay!
Hope I can find 30....
1. I only moved once when I was 6 months old, then grew up in the same time and then moved to the city Im studying now when I was 22.
2. Our family has had budgies since I was 8. We had about 8 since then. I lost count. The current ones are Jimmy and Janie (almost all have J names)
3. my favorite food is noodle caserole.
4. My favorite color is blue
5. I spent 4 months in South Africa and LOVED it.
6. My best friend and I have been best friends since grade 1 and now study together
7. I had leukemia when I was 13/14.
8. I only kissed 3 1/2 guys (one does not really count)
9. I would like to have a tatoo with my future kids' names one day
10. I always thoght abou getting my bellybutton pierced but never did
11. My little bother and me are 2 years 6 months and 2 weeks apart
12. I always wanted a cat
13. I always fall asleep on my belly, then shift to my side later
14. I originally wanted to become a Spanish and English teacher, but then the universities raised the level of proficiency you have to have in Spanish :(
15. I'm five feet 9 inches tall (always wanted to find out how tall I am in feet)
16. I knew Lance Armstrongs two books by heart in my teens and still can recite some of parts of them
17. my right foot is smaller than my left and my right hands smaller than the left
18. I can play the piano. Had lessons from age 8 to 18.
19. I always broke my bones when I was a kid because I was very active.
20. I don't accept people I only met a few times on facebook. They are not friends.
21. Hendrik and me are both the same age for about a month every year
22. My teacher offered to let me skip first grade but my parents prefered to not let me skip.
23. I drank some wine when I was about 7 or 8 and my parents were not loooking. I spit it out again immeadiately.
24. I learned to drive when I was 16 and drove around sometimes (very rarely). without a licence. My teacher was very surprised when I started driving school with 17. (In Germany you can drive with a guardian in the car when you are 17 and alone when you are 18).
25. I started to read mostly English books in grade 11
26. I never dyed my hair
27. I LOVE LOVE LOVE hot chocolate!
28. I wanted to marry a boy called Johannes in kindergarten and in elementary school I wanted to marry a boy called Hendrik. This current Hendrik's second name is Johannes :)
29. I watched "Jon and Kate plus 8" on youtube and do the same for "19 kids& counting
30. Its Hendrik's and my 5th anniversary today! Yay!
Sunday, 29 January 2012
30 day challenge: 5
Day 5- A time you thought about ending your life
I regard life as a gift. And you are not supposed to decline gifts. In general I love my life. It' s not that bad after all; I have everything I need. Yet, there are certainly some days when I do not want to get up and don't want to live the day ahead of me. I had my share of the hardship of this world which causes me to be depressed sometimes. But every time I cry and don't want to do this or that anymore I KNOW that I will smile again. I would not want to miss all the wonders of this awesome world!
I regard life as a gift. And you are not supposed to decline gifts. In general I love my life. It' s not that bad after all; I have everything I need. Yet, there are certainly some days when I do not want to get up and don't want to live the day ahead of me. I had my share of the hardship of this world which causes me to be depressed sometimes. But every time I cry and don't want to do this or that anymore I KNOW that I will smile again. I would not want to miss all the wonders of this awesome world!
Friday, 27 January 2012
30 day challenge: 4
day 3- Your views on religion
I wrote several posts on this topic. Here's one who sums it all up from October 2011: It is called "My relationship with God" and since it says everything I have to say, I copy and paste it (please forgive for not writing a new post, but I could not say it any better).
My relationship with God
so this blog is going to be quite personal....
During the last weeks/ months I have pondered a lot on my relationship with God. I have always called myself a Christian. My parents are Christians and so they wanted to raise their children as Christians. I was baptized when I was a few months old and went to sunday school pretty much my entire childhood. I heard all the stories, prayed every night my entire life, first with my parents, then alone. I usually treated people with love and tried to help whenever I could. But does this make me a Christian? Probably not!
When I went to Middle school other things were more important. For example sleeping in late on Sunday mornings. But there was more to it. The church my family belongs to is rather old fashioned. They have sunday school for children, but nothing that follws. No youth groups, no nothing. I would not have had a problem to go to the adult church...if it was a place more teenagers went to. If you go to church on a sunday morning you can see about ten sleepy teenagers who are there because they are forced to go since they want to celebrate their confirmation soon. I did the same. Went to church every sunday for almost two years and never went back since then except for Christmas and Easter. I have always been kind of searching. But never found something I really liked. When I met Henny he talked a lot about Jesus which is one of the reasons I fell in love with him. When he took me to his church I did not know the songs they sang and they did not have the lyrics. I got frustrated because I felt so stupid. I was ashamed of myself: "You call yourself a Christian and don't even know the stupid lyrics?" Eventually, I stopped going.
I always told myself I would find a church once I moved out. Last November this happened. Yet, by new years eve nothing had happened. I vowed to God that 2011 would be different. I vowed to buy myself a nice bible (not one of the old fashioned ones where you don't understand half of what you read) and find a church. And I kept my promise! I have been reading in my bible every evening and started going to church kind of regularly. Thanks to one of my old friends I found a group called "project 20 plus" which meets every second sunday. I have been enjoying these meetings very much. I still don't know all the lyrics and don't find a certain quote in the bible immediately, but I don't feel ashamed of myself because the other people don't make me feel ashamed. Thus, 2011 has been a good year in this area at least. My conversations with God have become longer and longer and I see people living their faith now which shows me how to do what I've always wanted: I praise God openly and love every minute of it. I once started a journey as a child in sunday school,got off track, but now I'm back. Stronger than before!
I wrote several posts on this topic. Here's one who sums it all up from October 2011: It is called "My relationship with God" and since it says everything I have to say, I copy and paste it (please forgive for not writing a new post, but I could not say it any better).
My relationship with God
so this blog is going to be quite personal....
During the last weeks/ months I have pondered a lot on my relationship with God. I have always called myself a Christian. My parents are Christians and so they wanted to raise their children as Christians. I was baptized when I was a few months old and went to sunday school pretty much my entire childhood. I heard all the stories, prayed every night my entire life, first with my parents, then alone. I usually treated people with love and tried to help whenever I could. But does this make me a Christian? Probably not!
When I went to Middle school other things were more important. For example sleeping in late on Sunday mornings. But there was more to it. The church my family belongs to is rather old fashioned. They have sunday school for children, but nothing that follws. No youth groups, no nothing. I would not have had a problem to go to the adult church...if it was a place more teenagers went to. If you go to church on a sunday morning you can see about ten sleepy teenagers who are there because they are forced to go since they want to celebrate their confirmation soon. I did the same. Went to church every sunday for almost two years and never went back since then except for Christmas and Easter. I have always been kind of searching. But never found something I really liked. When I met Henny he talked a lot about Jesus which is one of the reasons I fell in love with him. When he took me to his church I did not know the songs they sang and they did not have the lyrics. I got frustrated because I felt so stupid. I was ashamed of myself: "You call yourself a Christian and don't even know the stupid lyrics?" Eventually, I stopped going.
I always told myself I would find a church once I moved out. Last November this happened. Yet, by new years eve nothing had happened. I vowed to God that 2011 would be different. I vowed to buy myself a nice bible (not one of the old fashioned ones where you don't understand half of what you read) and find a church. And I kept my promise! I have been reading in my bible every evening and started going to church kind of regularly. Thanks to one of my old friends I found a group called "project 20 plus" which meets every second sunday. I have been enjoying these meetings very much. I still don't know all the lyrics and don't find a certain quote in the bible immediately, but I don't feel ashamed of myself because the other people don't make me feel ashamed. Thus, 2011 has been a good year in this area at least. My conversations with God have become longer and longer and I see people living their faith now which shows me how to do what I've always wanted: I praise God openly and love every minute of it. I once started a journey as a child in sunday school,got off track, but now I'm back. Stronger than before!
30 day challenge: 3
day 3: your views on drugs and alcohol
I don't take drugs (and if, I probably would not admit it on the internet, but I really don't). I tried a cigarette in grade 10 and it left me coughing for almost 5 minutes. Since then I smoked maybe 5 cigarettes, usually for special occasions like me graduation. I sometimes drink some alcohol,though. In Germany you can get beer from age 16 on and champagne and the other stuff when you are 18. So, I started with beer (usually mixed with coke) and tried quite a few other things as I got older. At my high school partys alcohol was usually involved. I enjoyed it, but never got drunk. I could always walk and remember the evening. I am a control freak and I don't want to loose control over what I say or do.
One funny story. If you read my blogs about my brother you know that he lives extremely healthy and usually does not touch alcohol at all. However, at my graduation prom, after the parents left, he stayed together with me and Hendrik since he knew some of my friends from swimming. My dad gave me a 50 euro bill and told us to enjoy the night. So, the whole group walked to the nearest petrol station to buy some alcohol. He was 17 back then which was why he could not buy anything other than beer. At the petrol station he took a bottle of liquor (Jägermeister) out of the shelf and gave it to me (since I had the money, ha). I was surprised, but did not want to act as the big sister who does not allow her brother to have any fun. My thought was that he knew what he could drink and he would not be drinking this alone. I was wrong! He was willing to share, but nobody really liked his choice. So within 2 hours or so he.drank. it. all. alone!!! He was not drunk or anything, just very relaxed and my friends thought he was funny. I was worried!!!!! But still very happy as you can see on the picture underneath. It was my prom after all (can you see that grin, I must have been VERY happy)
(henny,me,Nico)
At around 4 we decided to go home. Hendrik was driving. When Nico fell asleep on the highway, I got very worried since I thought this was a bad sign and wanted to wake him up, but Henny and my friend, who was in the car with us, said I shouldn't. Then, just as we wanted to leave the highway, Nico started to vomit. The buffet at the prom had been great and you know how much guys can eat..... Ok, so the end of my prom was standing in the driveway with Henny and my mom cleaning Hendrik's car which still smells on hot summer days. Funny story to remember. Trust your instincts and stop your little brother if necessary :)
I don't take drugs (and if, I probably would not admit it on the internet, but I really don't). I tried a cigarette in grade 10 and it left me coughing for almost 5 minutes. Since then I smoked maybe 5 cigarettes, usually for special occasions like me graduation. I sometimes drink some alcohol,though. In Germany you can get beer from age 16 on and champagne and the other stuff when you are 18. So, I started with beer (usually mixed with coke) and tried quite a few other things as I got older. At my high school partys alcohol was usually involved. I enjoyed it, but never got drunk. I could always walk and remember the evening. I am a control freak and I don't want to loose control over what I say or do.
One funny story. If you read my blogs about my brother you know that he lives extremely healthy and usually does not touch alcohol at all. However, at my graduation prom, after the parents left, he stayed together with me and Hendrik since he knew some of my friends from swimming. My dad gave me a 50 euro bill and told us to enjoy the night. So, the whole group walked to the nearest petrol station to buy some alcohol. He was 17 back then which was why he could not buy anything other than beer. At the petrol station he took a bottle of liquor (Jägermeister) out of the shelf and gave it to me (since I had the money, ha). I was surprised, but did not want to act as the big sister who does not allow her brother to have any fun. My thought was that he knew what he could drink and he would not be drinking this alone. I was wrong! He was willing to share, but nobody really liked his choice. So within 2 hours or so he.drank. it. all. alone!!! He was not drunk or anything, just very relaxed and my friends thought he was funny. I was worried!!!!! But still very happy as you can see on the picture underneath. It was my prom after all (can you see that grin, I must have been VERY happy)
(henny,me,Nico)
At around 4 we decided to go home. Hendrik was driving. When Nico fell asleep on the highway, I got very worried since I thought this was a bad sign and wanted to wake him up, but Henny and my friend, who was in the car with us, said I shouldn't. Then, just as we wanted to leave the highway, Nico started to vomit. The buffet at the prom had been great and you know how much guys can eat..... Ok, so the end of my prom was standing in the driveway with Henny and my mom cleaning Hendrik's car which still smells on hot summer days. Funny story to remember. Trust your instincts and stop your little brother if necessary :)
Thursday, 26 January 2012
30 day challenge: 2
day 2: where whould you like to be in 10 years?
I don't bring of anything big. I hope I will be (finally) working as a teacher, hopefully liking my job and not to be stressed out by it.
I hope to meet a lot of new people and make friends, not just aquaintances.
I hope my family is healthy and we can spend a lot of time together like we do today.
I hope I am married to a loving and supporting husband and have a cute baby or two.
I hope to have spend the year abroad I have been dreaming of since grade 7 and have travelled to a few countries.
I hope that I own a gorgeous house with rooms for each of my future children and big garden where I can tan and watch my kids play.
I hope I can still do as much sport as I do today.
I hope I can have a cat to cuddle by then.
Can't wait!
I don't bring of anything big. I hope I will be (finally) working as a teacher, hopefully liking my job and not to be stressed out by it.
I hope to meet a lot of new people and make friends, not just aquaintances.
I hope my family is healthy and we can spend a lot of time together like we do today.
I hope I am married to a loving and supporting husband and have a cute baby or two.
I hope to have spend the year abroad I have been dreaming of since grade 7 and have travelled to a few countries.
I hope that I own a gorgeous house with rooms for each of my future children and big garden where I can tan and watch my kids play.
I hope I can still do as much sport as I do today.
I hope I can have a cat to cuddle by then.
Can't wait!
30 day challenge: 1
Since I am alwys searching for topics to write about, I was glad to fin the 30 day challenge over at Elle-oh-v-ee's blog. I like the topics and so I decided to participate. Im one day behing though :) And Im extremely busy because of all the exams (excuses, excuses).
So, here's the schedule
Day 1:Talk about your current realtionship.
Well, as you know my partner in crime is Hendrik. I wrote about our love story (listed underneath the heading if you are interested) so I won't retell it. Last year was not a very good one for our relationship. Somehow we both got frustrated/ overwhelmed. We had moved into an appartment in November 2010 and our love somehow was buried underneath all the dirty dishes and other houswork that had to be done. Since the horrible day in September we are slowly recovering which is harder than both of us thought. We both love each other and strongly believe in a future together. Some of my friends do not like get settled on a guy just now which is why they told me to just get rid of Hendrik in September. I don't want to and while some don't understand that we cling to each other we will continue to do so.
We met when I was 18, he was 19 which means that on Monday (January 30) is our 5 year anniversary (woot woot). We have lived through a lot together and Im proud of that. Today, I forgot my dictionary which I needed for my exam and he brought me it along whith some chocolate. We are both extremly busy so I spent a lot of time alone at the appartment while he works which is hard and leads to arguments but, how do you say, we are young and need the money (we are still both students).
So, here's the schedule
Day 1:Talk about your current realtionship.
Well, as you know my partner in crime is Hendrik. I wrote about our love story (listed underneath the heading if you are interested) so I won't retell it. Last year was not a very good one for our relationship. Somehow we both got frustrated/ overwhelmed. We had moved into an appartment in November 2010 and our love somehow was buried underneath all the dirty dishes and other houswork that had to be done. Since the horrible day in September we are slowly recovering which is harder than both of us thought. We both love each other and strongly believe in a future together. Some of my friends do not like get settled on a guy just now which is why they told me to just get rid of Hendrik in September. I don't want to and while some don't understand that we cling to each other we will continue to do so.
We met when I was 18, he was 19 which means that on Monday (January 30) is our 5 year anniversary (woot woot). We have lived through a lot together and Im proud of that. Today, I forgot my dictionary which I needed for my exam and he brought me it along whith some chocolate. We are both extremly busy so I spent a lot of time alone at the appartment while he works which is hard and leads to arguments but, how do you say, we are young and need the money (we are still both students).
Monday, 23 January 2012
A heart hidden
A women’s heart should be so hidden in God that a man seeking God will find her there.
What a beautiful saying, I’ve held it close for so long now. Every time I read it or hear it my heart beats just a little faster.
Most of us would agree that our hearts long to be hidden (safe, secure and adored) in someone. But I believe we also find the thought of a man searching God to know our heart is precious and we feel cherished, loved and accepted.
Living our daily life often does not mean to hide your heart in God. It means to be consumed with the world. To have a boyfriend, to have the right clothes, to say the right things... we get so overwhelmed. So many girls believe that their image is found in these things.
Often I struggle so much, trying to understand who I am, what I am supposed to be and if I am ever going to be cool/hip enough for some people.
Recently, I discovered this quote and rediscovered the importance of sharing my faith with my future husband. When I met Hendrik he perfectly matched the picture described above. He gave me a bible on our first or second date. He even made me read it. (At this time I believed, but did not read the bible) We went to church together because HE wanted to. Today, almost five years later, it is the other way around. I read the bible every night and want to go to church. He also wants to go to church but has not touched a bible in some time. What hurts most is the fact that he does not live a very good Christian life right now. It's in him but he struggles to find it. God's voice is very hard to hear and with the loud lifestyle he lived until very recently he is not really able to hear it. Every night I pray that God gets closer to him and I ask God to please show me if he is the one. I want him to be and he can be the perfect one. But right now he is often busy with other things. "God, please let him find a way back to you. Not because of me, but because he is special to you and he needs you in his life."
Most of us would agree that our hearts long to be hidden (safe, secure and adored) in someone. But I believe we also find the thought of a man searching God to know our heart is precious and we feel cherished, loved and accepted.
Living our daily life often does not mean to hide your heart in God. It means to be consumed with the world. To have a boyfriend, to have the right clothes, to say the right things... we get so overwhelmed. So many girls believe that their image is found in these things.
Often I struggle so much, trying to understand who I am, what I am supposed to be and if I am ever going to be cool/hip enough for some people.
Recently, I discovered this quote and rediscovered the importance of sharing my faith with my future husband. When I met Hendrik he perfectly matched the picture described above. He gave me a bible on our first or second date. He even made me read it. (At this time I believed, but did not read the bible) We went to church together because HE wanted to. Today, almost five years later, it is the other way around. I read the bible every night and want to go to church. He also wants to go to church but has not touched a bible in some time. What hurts most is the fact that he does not live a very good Christian life right now. It's in him but he struggles to find it. God's voice is very hard to hear and with the loud lifestyle he lived until very recently he is not really able to hear it. Every night I pray that God gets closer to him and I ask God to please show me if he is the one. I want him to be and he can be the perfect one. But right now he is often busy with other things. "God, please let him find a way back to you. Not because of me, but because he is special to you and he needs you in his life."
Friday, 20 January 2012
Me and sports
I just realized that I never seem to blog about sports even though it is a huge part of me. This might be the reason why I never blog about it. It just seems natural to me, like the color of my eyes and I don't talk about this. Still, I decided to talk abou it today.
My mother was a professional dancer and my dad is also very sportive. Growing up my parents took me/ us skiing in the winter, paid for tennis lessons and always encouraged us be active and to engage in sports. Of course my mom had the hope that I would dance too. So I had ballet classes in kindergarten, 1st and second grade. If you know me today, you will know that dancing and me are two completely different things. I want to use my power, feel my breath and don't have the patience required for ballet. So I quit and went to athletics with my little brother. There I discovered my passion for long distance running. Both me and my brother were pretty good at it, but our coach prefered the other disciplines like sprint or long jump. There was not much support for us, I did not like my team mates and so I/we left. When I left I was thirteen, very frustrated and not very self-concious. I did not do anything for half a year.
Since I was five my family and I went to a swimming club every Saturday. On day one of the coaches told me I had talent and should train a little more. Honey for my soul! However, this swimming club only trains kids form 4- 12 which meant I had to find a different club. So, I tried out for a club near my hometown. I did not know any of the kids but still started to practise with them. The problem with sports and Germany is that it is totally independent from school. Thus, you get no support from school and often sport interferes with school. If you want to have good grades in school, you can't do too much sport. Hence, most of the swimming kids were not good at school The club wanted me to train 9 times a week and often spend my whole weekend at competetions. I know this is common in the US, yet it does not seem to work here. So, I quit again after a year. I decided to become my own coach and I was good at it. I read a lot of books and really achieved something. I must have had great discipline:) Additionally, I had fallen in love with Lance Armstrongs books when I was thirteen so I rode my bike on the days I did not swim (at least in the warmer half of the year). I was certainly fit!
One day the coach of a different team asked me if I would like to join them since he had seen me training on my own. I said yes and discovered that a classmate I did not really like was on the team as well. Umph! However, i got to know her better and a friendship started to develop. Together with my brother, who joined me as well, we had a lot of fun. I liked the team, I liked th coach. Everything was perfect. We went to school, did our homework and went swimming almost every day. This team did not make me swim as many competitions as the other one and the pressure was lower. It was simply awesome.
Me and some of the little kids
Our team at a team competition
When I graduated and went to college I stayed home with the hope that my swimming life would continue (I was naive, I know). However, most of the swimmers my age left and after battling and slowly starting to hate siwmming I left as well. I miss it and often think of the great times we had. I did not join another swimming team when I moved, but I started running a lot. I go to the gym and run on the tread mill together with my boyfriend. On Saturdays I go to the pool by myself again, like I did when I was 13. Saturdays have been my swimming day since I was 5 and they always will be. Some things never change!
What kind of sports do you do?
My mother was a professional dancer and my dad is also very sportive. Growing up my parents took me/ us skiing in the winter, paid for tennis lessons and always encouraged us be active and to engage in sports. Of course my mom had the hope that I would dance too. So I had ballet classes in kindergarten, 1st and second grade. If you know me today, you will know that dancing and me are two completely different things. I want to use my power, feel my breath and don't have the patience required for ballet. So I quit and went to athletics with my little brother. There I discovered my passion for long distance running. Both me and my brother were pretty good at it, but our coach prefered the other disciplines like sprint or long jump. There was not much support for us, I did not like my team mates and so I/we left. When I left I was thirteen, very frustrated and not very self-concious. I did not do anything for half a year.
Since I was five my family and I went to a swimming club every Saturday. On day one of the coaches told me I had talent and should train a little more. Honey for my soul! However, this swimming club only trains kids form 4- 12 which meant I had to find a different club. So, I tried out for a club near my hometown. I did not know any of the kids but still started to practise with them. The problem with sports and Germany is that it is totally independent from school. Thus, you get no support from school and often sport interferes with school. If you want to have good grades in school, you can't do too much sport. Hence, most of the swimming kids were not good at school The club wanted me to train 9 times a week and often spend my whole weekend at competetions. I know this is common in the US, yet it does not seem to work here. So, I quit again after a year. I decided to become my own coach and I was good at it. I read a lot of books and really achieved something. I must have had great discipline:) Additionally, I had fallen in love with Lance Armstrongs books when I was thirteen so I rode my bike on the days I did not swim (at least in the warmer half of the year). I was certainly fit!
One day the coach of a different team asked me if I would like to join them since he had seen me training on my own. I said yes and discovered that a classmate I did not really like was on the team as well. Umph! However, i got to know her better and a friendship started to develop. Together with my brother, who joined me as well, we had a lot of fun. I liked the team, I liked th coach. Everything was perfect. We went to school, did our homework and went swimming almost every day. This team did not make me swim as many competitions as the other one and the pressure was lower. It was simply awesome.
Me and some of the little kids
Our team at a team competition
When I graduated and went to college I stayed home with the hope that my swimming life would continue (I was naive, I know). However, most of the swimmers my age left and after battling and slowly starting to hate siwmming I left as well. I miss it and often think of the great times we had. I did not join another swimming team when I moved, but I started running a lot. I go to the gym and run on the tread mill together with my boyfriend. On Saturdays I go to the pool by myself again, like I did when I was 13. Saturdays have been my swimming day since I was 5 and they always will be. Some things never change!
What kind of sports do you do?
Wednesday, 18 January 2012
Life today
Today I am happy because the sun shines. I am happy because Hendrik gave me a braclet and really tries hard to be the person again he onces was. For the first time in months (since that horrible day in September to be exact) I KNOW that Hendrik does not cheat on me anymore. I always had doubts because he still spent a lot of time with his friends. The ones I think have a bad influence on him. During the last weeks he stopped and is home more or at work (where I can call him). I did not know how hard the road I planned to travel was back in September. I thought I could immeadiately trust him again. FAIL! And yes, I would do it again. He's there to support me when I'm crying because life breaks my heart. He tries to help me when he can. And he constantly tries to hug or kiss me which I cannot allow because I need this high security fence around me to feel safe. Love means you are vulnerable which is something I cannot be, believe I cannot be. Every night I pray for my heart to find some peace which it sometimes finds for minutes. The rest of the day I'm struggling. I'm scared what might happen next. I don't want to complain. I know that life could be a lot harder, but your life and your job is always the hardest, right?
I'm happy because I might have found the solution to my term paper problem. The one about kingship in the Middle English romances where there is almost no literature about. Yeah! I had a dissertation on a mikrofilm come to my university. Now I have to spend hours with an ancient machine, similar to a slide projector, and scan the pages which might take days. But still, I have a solution.
I'm happy because I do not have to work today which leaves me more time for my university stuff and this might mean I could get some things done (if I finally leave the computer that is).
I'm happy because after going to the gym Henny will stay home and we will go out to drink some cocktails. After this I'll probably totally happy because Henny will be his old self (he always is when his stupid friends are not there) and afterwards I might be able to fall asleep quickly. Now, I'll have to get started with my work for university otherwise the day off will lead to nothing but cocktails.
I'm happy because I might have found the solution to my term paper problem. The one about kingship in the Middle English romances where there is almost no literature about. Yeah! I had a dissertation on a mikrofilm come to my university. Now I have to spend hours with an ancient machine, similar to a slide projector, and scan the pages which might take days. But still, I have a solution.
I'm happy because I do not have to work today which leaves me more time for my university stuff and this might mean I could get some things done (if I finally leave the computer that is).
I'm happy because after going to the gym Henny will stay home and we will go out to drink some cocktails. After this I'll probably totally happy because Henny will be his old self (he always is when his stupid friends are not there) and afterwards I might be able to fall asleep quickly. Now, I'll have to get started with my work for university otherwise the day off will lead to nothing but cocktails.
Moments in life
Someone postet this on his facebook page and it made me think of someone I can only visit in my dreams but would desperately need a hug from. Some day I'll get it :) But I promised to wait. And promises have to be kept.
Sunday, 8 January 2012
My goals for 2012
I usually don't make new years resolutions (except in 2006 when I decided I needed a boyfriend and met Hendrik 20 days later, but thats a different story). However, I like to set goals.
So here are some of the things I would like to work on in 2012:
1. Trying to be more relaxed and worry less. I tend to worry about EVERYTHING. Usually, theres not even a reason to worry and everything turns out fine. But I still worry..
2. FINALLY buy myself a decent camera. I still borrow my mom's when I need one. But I love pictures and the memories they capture. So I should really buy one.
(wouldn't this one be super nice?)
3. Make new friends. 2011 was not a very good year in the friendship area. I certainly know now who my friends are but on the other hand I know which ones are just aquaintances. I'm always excited to meet new people. Hope I can make it happen.
4. Finally quit this stupid job. It does not help me to get anywhere, just makes my back hurt.
5. Go to bed earlier. I never went to bed super late before moving together with Hendrik. But since he does I tend to do, too.
6. Read more instead of spending hours on the internet doing essentially nothing.
7. Blog more and write more comments on other people's blog instead of just reading (and include pictures from that camera).
8. Write my diary more regularly. It helps me to find peace with some things I am worried about and makes me realize I'm not too bad off.
9. Not only read my bible but actually do some more thinking abou what I am reading
10. Going to church more regularly AND get to know some people there.
11. Being a better girlfriend who takes less care of the dirty clothes and dishes but of the person she lives with and loves.
So here are some of the things I would like to work on in 2012:
1. Trying to be more relaxed and worry less. I tend to worry about EVERYTHING. Usually, theres not even a reason to worry and everything turns out fine. But I still worry..
2. FINALLY buy myself a decent camera. I still borrow my mom's when I need one. But I love pictures and the memories they capture. So I should really buy one.
(wouldn't this one be super nice?)
3. Make new friends. 2011 was not a very good year in the friendship area. I certainly know now who my friends are but on the other hand I know which ones are just aquaintances. I'm always excited to meet new people. Hope I can make it happen.
4. Finally quit this stupid job. It does not help me to get anywhere, just makes my back hurt.
5. Go to bed earlier. I never went to bed super late before moving together with Hendrik. But since he does I tend to do, too.
6. Read more instead of spending hours on the internet doing essentially nothing.
7. Blog more and write more comments on other people's blog instead of just reading (and include pictures from that camera).
8. Write my diary more regularly. It helps me to find peace with some things I am worried about and makes me realize I'm not too bad off.
9. Not only read my bible but actually do some more thinking abou what I am reading
10. Going to church more regularly AND get to know some people there.
11. Being a better girlfriend who takes less care of the dirty clothes and dishes but of the person she lives with and loves.
Thursday, 5 January 2012
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