Counting your blessings

Tomorrow is my first real day as a grown up. I will start the second phase of my teacher eduaction tomorrow.  During the next 21 months I will have to write countless lesson plans and be observed and critcized as a teacher countless times. It will be challenging. But after going through some of the stuff I did go through the last 6 months, I can assure you nothing can shock me anymore. Some people dread those 21 months that finally make you a teacher. I am not scared one bit, because I know that it is going to be good. I look fowrard to being needed. Being a student means you are a number, my professors never cared about whether I showed up or not. I will have to get up early  and will have to get dressed for work every single day. That sounds like I have never worked, which is not true since I have been a subsitute teacher for quite some time now. But it will be different.I will also meet new people and most of all I will finally do my job. I will teach kids which I am convinced is one of the talent's God gave me. The great thing about hard times is that it brings you closer to God which is incredibly calming. Especially in the past month I have had days where I could not stop crying, where I almost forgot I was crying while I was crying. But exactly then I found myself crying out to God for help and somehow I felt comforted. Looking back at my life, which I have done, countless times, I have realized that I was placed in a blessed spot in life. It is not a spot where the sun always shines, but it is a good spot. I was given the most caring and loving parents I could have been given. Parents who went to hell and back for so many times. I was given a brother who honestly cares about my well-being and is always, always there for me and I am proud to call my best friend. I was also given some friends I sometimes considered boring and neglected, but who are still and always will be there for me. I may not have 20 friends, but I have about 10 who I can trust. I got cancer at 13 and my teenage years basicly did not happen apart from body changes, but I did not die from this cancer and I my body, although damaged and weakened, is still quite able to run or swim for an extended period of time. I was also given a mind that helped me fulfill my dream of becoming a teacher. At 18 God placed a person in my life that forever changed the way I see things and who to this day, despite all the struggles we have been through, is the only person in the entire world I can admit anything to. I also had the freedom to go to the US for 3 life changing months where I met people who did not ask where I came from and who I was, but allowed me to discover myself anew and made me forget Anne for a while and instead become a camp counselor and life guard called Sporty, a person I deeply admire and miss.
Going into this new phase of life tomorrow, I know that there is no easy time awaiting me and I should probably get some buckets to collect all the tears I am going to cry as well as few  a lot of bottles of wine to calm my nerves, but I know that life is good, God's plan for me is a good one and I am going to be ok no matter what happens next!!!