A memory

I remember that my dad used to carry my brothers and me down the stairs every morning. This seems to have been extremely important to me since I clearly remember the day he was not there to carry me down the stairs. I woke up and refused to go down the stairs alone and refused to let my mom carry me. This added to the stress level as me and my triplet brothers had just started first grade and since my dad obviously was not there my mom had to get us ready for school and my little brother ready for kindergarten alone (Usually my dad helped and walked to school with us as his high school was nearby).
What had happened? My dad was diagnosed with burnout and had gone to a clinic for treatment. It shattered my world although he was only gone for about 8 weeks. I was used to us being together as a famiy every day. I was a daddys girl. He had taught me how to swim and ride a bike. My mom did not feel capable of handling 4 kids alone so my little brother was sent to my aunt who lives in the south of Germany. I loved little brother and was scared of him to go. We were all scared of my uncle. I begged him not to go and asked him what he would do if my uncle would be mean to him. My little brother just answered, with the garden hose in his hand,that he would simply make him wet (he was 4 1/2 back then). He actually had a great time at my aunt's. My mom still remebers that I was incosolable these days. I had a rough start at school with lots of tantrums and crying and clung to my brothers even more than usual.
I remeber one time we visited dad. I remember us taking a walk and I insisted on my dad giving me piggyback rides the whole time. My brothers wanted to be carried as well but I started crying when my dad attempted to take me down.
After several weeks my dad came back and we were all together again. Still, something had changed because my dad never carried me down the stairs again.