Maybe you remember that I went to a wedding in June. One of my friends from university married an American guy. Big love story, beautiful couple and a perfect wedding.
Today they announced via facebook that they were expecting their first baby in June.
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Totally surprised me. I wish them all the luck and happiness they can possibly have. But this got something going inside me. First, I started complaining to myself how much I would like to be in her place. Handsome hubby, great parents in law and now pregnant. I know I have got a lot. One day I might have it all (minus the supporting parents in law, of course). But I don't like the place I am in now right now. Everbody else would say that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I have always been the "good kid". I have a great family, a loving boyfriend and I will graduate in May with a degree as a high school teacher. But I am so tired of this student life. I cannot even tell you how much I want to move on. I am tired of writing these papers explaining how I would explain this concept or use this method. I want a real life. I so desperately want to get up in the morning and have a real job, real students waiting for me instead of another boring university class or my desk at home. I want to earn a real salary to support myself. I want to move to a nice appartment, one where you can actually put nails in the wall, where the walls are not paper thin and the neighbors do leave you alone. I want a car and I don't want to carry my water bottles home from the shop once a week. And yes, secretly I want to marry and have kids. I know it is not possible now since we are both students. It is not our fault. It's the German education system's fault. We have 13, in words thirteen, years of school. So you graduate when you are ninteen. Then you go to university where you stay forever (5 years) if you want to be a teacher. Then you are a teacher in training for almost two years (if you get a job immeadiately that is) and they basicly tell you how much you suck at that job the entire time. After another year or two you finally reach teacher heaven. You get a really nice salary (3-4000 euros depending tax class), the best health insurance there is and the best of it: you can never be fired because the state hires you for lifetime. Sounds awesome? It definitely is. But now I am 24 and in May I will still not be any older, when I start my training position I will be 25 (ideally), when I finish that I will be roughly 27 and when I reach "teacher heaven" will be about 29. Then the state expects me to start a family. Do you see the problem?
But complaining does not help. So I will shut the computer down for the day and walk to the shop to buy another six pack of water to carry home to appartment I do not like at all and tomorrow I will start again.
"Always look on the bright sight of life"
I feel ya girl! I'm so tired of school as well. I will have been in school for 21 years by the time I graduate! I cannot wait for a "real life".
ReplyDeleteI am also really impressed with your school system. In the US teachers are not paid well and make it out of college in just 4 years. Believe me...a lot of our teachers need that 2 years of training before they are let loose to educate our children.
i know how tiring school can be. when i was still in college (which was 9 months ago) i couldn't wait to have real life, get my own salary, etc. but, even when you're already in the real life, get a job, get a salary, have your own apartment, challenges will still be there. you'll start to complain about other things, haha. i believe that God has his plan for you Anne, and everything will fall into place for you at the right time.
ReplyDeleteit sounds like a reaaaally long time of school (and college) in Germany. in Indonesia, generally we spend 4-5 years in college, we enter college at 18 and graduate when we're 22. but of course, if you enter med school, it'll be like forever.