30 day challenge: 4

day 3- Your views on religion

I wrote several posts on this topic. Here's one who sums it all up from October 2011: It is called "My relationship with God" and since it says everything I have to say, I copy and paste it (please forgive for not writing a new post, but I could not say it any better).

My relationship with God

so this blog is going to be quite personal....

During the last weeks/ months I have pondered a lot on my relationship with God. I have always called myself a Christian. My parents are Christians and so they wanted to raise their children as Christians. I was baptized when I was a few months old and went to sunday school pretty much my entire childhood. I heard all the stories, prayed every night my entire life, first with my parents, then alone. I usually treated people with love and tried to help whenever I could. But does this make me a Christian? Probably not!

When I went to Middle school other things were more important. For example sleeping in late on Sunday mornings. But there was more to it. The church my family belongs to is rather old fashioned. They have sunday school for children, but nothing that follws. No youth groups, no nothing. I would not have had a problem to go to the adult church...if it was a place more teenagers went to. If you go to church on a sunday morning you can see about ten sleepy teenagers who are there because they are forced to go since they want to celebrate their confirmation soon. I did the same. Went to church every sunday for almost two years and never went back since then except for Christmas and Easter. I have always been kind of searching. But never found something I really liked. When I met Henny he talked a lot about Jesus which is one of the reasons I fell in love with him. When he took me to his church I did not know the songs they sang and they did not have the lyrics. I got frustrated because I felt so stupid. I was ashamed of myself: "You call yourself a Christian and don't even know the stupid lyrics?" Eventually, I stopped going.

I always told myself I would find a church once I moved out. Last November this happened. Yet, by new years eve nothing had happened. I vowed to God that 2011 would be different. I vowed to buy myself a nice bible (not one of the old fashioned ones where you don't understand half of what you read) and find a church. And I kept my promise! I have been reading in my bible every evening and started going to church kind of regularly. Thanks to one of my old friends I found a group called "project 20 plus" which meets every second sunday. I have been enjoying these meetings very much. I still don't know all the lyrics and don't find a certain quote in the bible immediately, but I don't feel ashamed of myself because the other people don't make me feel ashamed. Thus, 2011 has been a good year in this area at least. My conversations with God have become longer and longer and I see people living their faith now which shows me how to do what I've always wanted: I praise God openly and love every minute of it. I once started a journey as a child in sunday school,got off track, but now I'm back. Stronger than before!