A bumpy road

In the last few days henny and I argued a lot. He works often and very spontaneously which makes me freak out. He spends a lot of time at his fraternity and sometimes is just so aggressive. He does not have a very good relationship with his mom because of unclear reasons (he grew up without his dad cause he died). Women probably just go on his nerves. Now he starts to treat me like his mom, the same aggressive way. Additionally, university probably is not the best time to find the love of your life. All his friends have constantly changing girlfriends or no girlfriends at all. Girlfriends mean responsibility because a realtionship is not only fun, but also work, especially if it lasts that long. He says he loves me which I know he does, but right now he just wants to be young and careless. I dont feel that way. Im proud not to have had that many boyfriends in my life. In my opinion too many bf mean a lot of heartbreak and I really dont need it. No thanks! What makes it even more complicated is our living together. Hes not the tidiest person in the world which I knew before, but I really didnt know he's that messy!!! Im constantly asking, begging him to PLEASE do this and that. Im already doing most of the work which is not ideal but ok as woman just do most of the work... thats at least what I guess. My parents do really support each other but then my mom works more than my dad which is not typical.
Today, we'll go to the pool. Yeah. He'll be there in 10 minutes. Hope it goes well. I really love him, want to spend the rest of my life whith him as he does. But I cant do it all alone and I need him to love me which he does but seldom shows.I feel like a wife after ten years of marriage BUT IM NOT!
Do you have any advice???