Walking in the rain

I'm busy. I know, I always say that but I really am. I thought this Christmas would be more relaxed because I don't have as much university as I used to in the last years but I somehow always find things to make me busy (work). So, instead of sleeping in this morning I had a biology field trip. I put on my warm pullover and my scarf and head and then walked around in the pouring cold rain for 3 hours (last year we had lots of snow at this time of the year). Lots of fun. Ok, my best friend was with me and we always create fun so it wasn't too bad. Now, since the swimming pool closed for two weeks of intense cleaning, I'll visit the dreaded tread mill and run, then pack my stuff and go home (my parents home). The mentioned friend wants me to go to a party tonight but I'm not sure. I know I'm boring but I'm just tired. If I don't sleep much tonight I'll have to wait another week. Ok,I'll stop talking about sleep, too boring.
Chrismas activities: My mom bought me an advent calendar which consists of 24 little red candles. So, now I light one every day and think about the people I love. Nothing spectacular, but I like it. Hendrik also bought me a chocolate version and I eat lots of gingerbread so I don't miss out on the eating part (How could I?).

Summing up: Nothing new here. I didn't quit my job by the way. My friend convinced me to hang on. Sometimes it's ok and sometimes I stack all these magazines constantly promising myself that this is the last time. We'll see.

Enjoy your weekend!

Don't read if happy

Back in June I vowed to only blog positives from now on since no one likes to read whiny blogs. Yet, this blog is also my journal and feel like I have to write about negative things as well. So, if you are in a good mood just skip this post :).

There's something wrong with Nico's (my brother) lip. Since the surgery one week ago it looks weird. I don't even want to write this because I had hoped soo much that finally everything would be ok. It is not. And it breaks my heart. My does he have so much bad luck??? This is UNFAIR. I BEGGED god last week to finally let this be his last jaw surgery. Now this...Nico is depressed, of course. Seriously depressed and we don't know what to do. When I was home at the weekend I almost could not stand this sad, sad mood.

I will quit my job tomorrow. I feel like it's not good for me since you have to work very fast which makes me nervous. Nervous nervous. I suffer a lot. About two days before I have to work I start being sad. This is not helpful in my current situation. If it was my real job I would fight, but this is only a stupid student job and there are others. Still, I feel like a failure. I wanted to prove that I could do it, that I would not simply give up because I have to fight. Yet, it makes no sense. My mouth turns dry the second I start and I sweat like crazy.

I honestly thought there were better times ahead after all the mess with hendrik was over. But it isn't. 2011 is not my year. That's for sure. 6 more weeks to go! 2012 has to be better!

Sorry, for this post.

Random thoughts

My brother's surgery went well on Wedenesday. Tomorrow my parents are going to drive to Stuttgart to pick him up. Now, we all pray that when the swelling goes away everything will look fine and most important, my brother likes the result. Thanks to everyone who prayed :)
My life here is the usual. Lots of university and lots of work. Little sleep. I did not have the time to do as much sport as I would like to this week, but it was a good week. I have two offers to tutor kids but I don't know if I can accept them since I'm already this busy. Next week I have to work twice for the job I got in September plus tutoring the twins once. Yet, I think I could push myself harder and do it all. I still have free time in the evening I could use for Sport etc. But then, I'm usually very tired in the evening. I don't even want to start thinking about what I could do with the money. Planes come to my mind... Extremely tempting!!! Any advice?
I have had two good weeks with Hendrik. He cooks for me, does some (more)housework which extremely helps. I sometimes have the feeling that I just have to train him a little harder and he will be Mr Right. But it's a lot of work.
This weekend we've got a little partying planned. As you might have notice I'm not a party animal. I just don't like places where the music is so loud that you cannot have a conversation with the person standing next to you. And I don't like to go out in the middle of the night. I prefer having a nice long conversation on someone's couch and then say goodbye at midnight. Some people say I'm missing out on something, but I don't agree. After years of pretending to be someone I'm not and partying at the weekends, I'm happy the way it is now. Sometimes I'll go out and dance a bit. But afterwards I've usually had enough for the next month. So this weekend some people convinced me to get out of my shell and actually go out.
Enjoy your weekend!

Quick update

Wow, time is passing quickly. My school/college started almost 2 weeks ago and for the first time in 7 semester I LIKE it. Maybe that's because I don't have too much to do (=don't feel overwhelmed)and do really like the professors (even the Biology ones).
Additionally, I started working. I'm not really sure I like it, because you have to stand for a very long time and work VERY fast. I do sort magazines into piles for different shops. After work I have excruciating backpain and I'm not really sure it's worth the money (although the money is good 10 Euros/ hour).
I finally live in the appartment again with Hendrik. We've had some rough days and some great days. It all changes so quickly. It's hard because I finally want to know how this ends. Will we stay together forever...or is there somebody else out there? Prayers are still needed and wanted.

How is your fall? Any fun activities? We don't really have pumpkin patches in Germany nor do we celebrate Halloween (except for some little kids).