Don't read if happy

Back in June I vowed to only blog positives from now on since no one likes to read whiny blogs. Yet, this blog is also my journal and feel like I have to write about negative things as well. So, if you are in a good mood just skip this post :).

There's something wrong with Nico's (my brother) lip. Since the surgery one week ago it looks weird. I don't even want to write this because I had hoped soo much that finally everything would be ok. It is not. And it breaks my heart. My does he have so much bad luck??? This is UNFAIR. I BEGGED god last week to finally let this be his last jaw surgery. Now this...Nico is depressed, of course. Seriously depressed and we don't know what to do. When I was home at the weekend I almost could not stand this sad, sad mood.

I will quit my job tomorrow. I feel like it's not good for me since you have to work very fast which makes me nervous. Nervous nervous. I suffer a lot. About two days before I have to work I start being sad. This is not helpful in my current situation. If it was my real job I would fight, but this is only a stupid student job and there are others. Still, I feel like a failure. I wanted to prove that I could do it, that I would not simply give up because I have to fight. Yet, it makes no sense. My mouth turns dry the second I start and I sweat like crazy.

I honestly thought there were better times ahead after all the mess with hendrik was over. But it isn't. 2011 is not my year. That's for sure. 6 more weeks to go! 2012 has to be better!

Sorry, for this post.